I love late nights where you can confess everything.
Having someone to talk to every night is one of the best feeling. Because you know that you can tell him everything. Those things that are bottling up inside you will not going to bother you anymore because you can finally share it to someone. And as he listens to you thoroughly, you kind of forget about the time and you begin to enjoy his company. His words of advice kind of help you a lot. He can relate to your confessions and the fact that he didn’t tell you to stop because those things you’re telling him were pure nonsense gives you the confidence that he cares. He listens attentively and he doesn’t just say “I know what you feel”, he say “I may not know what you’re going through but I respect you because you’re strong enough to endure such things.” Just when you thought that no one will understand that you’re hurting, someone is there, talking to you and making you feel that you’re not alone because he’s there to guide you in the dark.
They say that you can never know someone completely until you talk to him/her late at night. That’s right. Because words are honest during this time. Maybe it’s the silence of the night that’s telling you to open up yourself completely. Or maybe because you’ve got a feeling that this someone you’re talking to is real and that he’ll never lose asleep talking to you if you don’t mean anything to him. Late nights like these are very helpful. Because somehow, it can lighten those burdens you’re carrying inside. Somehow, the pain you have was reduced. Though it’s not yet completely gone, the mere fact that you feel a little better after you talk for hours is enough to ease the fatigue trying to posses you. And thanks to that someone for helping you. He may not be aware of it but his presence is very much appreciated. His words of comfort act as erasers of your doubts and uncertainties. Though nights like that rarely happens, because not all people are interested listening to your endless rants and not all of them give a damn about you, knowing that someone among them cares and is willing to listen is enough reason for you to lose asleep and confess everything.
Being in a long distance relationship.
The worst thing about being in a long distance relationship is the absence of physical connection. We are humans, and as humans we are longing to be touched, to be hugged, to be kissed. But since people who are in this kind of relationship are separated by distance, they cannot do what a normal couple does. Sure, they can talk on the phone and through the internet, but somehow that is not enough. They can hear each other’s voices, they can see each other via Skype but there are no physical things involved. No holding hands. No cuddling during the cold weathers. No make-up kisses, no forehead kisses, no cheek kisses. Kissing the computer screen I guess can’t be consider as one. No surprise hugs, no hugs from behind, no spinning hugs. Hugging their pillow pretending that it’s him/her is the only thing they can do. And when he’s going through a really tough situation, as much as you wanted to comfort him personally and rub your hands on his back and give him a hug, you just can’t. The only thing you can do is to use comforting words and tell him that everything will be alright. If only hugs and kisses could be felt through the internet, then at least you can form some physical connection with him. Even if we say that relationships are not just about the physical stuff, still it’s an ingredient of a long, lasting relationship. Too bad, the only thing they can do is to wait for that moment when they can finally see each other personally, when they can actually kiss, hug and touch each other in person. Waiting for that day requires patience. Fuck, distance ruin beautiful things.
Her Favorite Hug.
There’s that one type of hug that a girl loves. That tight hug where you put some strength into it, using your both arms, not just one. The one where a girl could bury her face in a guy’s chest, that makes her feel safe and secure, that makes her feel warm on the outside and inside, that makes her feel wanted, the one that lasts for awhile, and the one that would give her the impression that you care.
Never make fun of the way someone looks like. Never make a joke about someone’s weight, about the size of their boobs, about their teeth, about their eyebrows. Never make a joke about any part of their body. So what if their body is different than that of yours? It’s none of your business, seriously. Criticizing someone is not some form of comedy, and I’m not even laughing.
I just want someone who will watch a movie with me even if it’s not his/her favorite. Someone who will never leave the movie house without me, and that even he/she find the whole movie boring, he/she is still willing to stick his company.
See, I would go to sleep but what if you just call me out of the blue while I’m sleeping and I’m completely unaware of it, I’ll definitely miss the chance so why do that.
The final hug.
That bittersweet moment when you know, that basically, it’s over. You’ve done everything you can to try to save it, but life has already decided. You guys aren’t the one for each other, at least, not right now. You will remember every smile, laugh, and kiss from the moment you met. Every tear, cry, and fight will cross your mind. You’re experiencing mixed emotions. Relief that all of that is over. Disappointment because you’ve given it your all and yet you’re still there, required to part ways. All the times you’ve spent together have wrapped up, and all you’re left is one last embrace.
I think the best thing about sleeping together on the same bed is when the morning comes and you’ll decide whether to get out of bed or just to stay there the whole day and then you’ll choose the latter. That moments when you’re too tired to get up but still got a lot of energy to do those silly things together like cuddling that sometimes leads to making out sessions. It’s not gross because you’re making love and not just sex. It’s actually romantic and at the same time, beautiful.
And sometimes, there’s no physical contacts involved. You’re just lying there on each other’s arms and talking about random things, light conversation in other words. And then there goes the tickling and those childish acts, and sometimes pillow fights, whatever it is that comes into your mind. You’re just trying to spend precious time with each other. And it’s all that matters.
Those moments are just so simple. So simple yet the impact was too powerful. It’s not about that make-out sessions to satisfy your physical needs, nor the cuddling or the good morning kisses, it’s that happiness you felt in you for having that someone you love on your side as you wake up every morning. It is that feeling you felt when you open your eyes and you see that familiar face and that sleepy confused look lying next to you. It is them, nothing else.
It’s like, after a certain point, they put less effort. They get this idea that we’re growing up and the season doesn’t excite us as much. It’s also easier to think of gifts for younger children. Most would just want a toy truck, or a doll, or video games, but it’s not really about presents. Sure, they’re nice, but it’s the company of others and the reason we’re celebrating it that really makes this a wonderful time of the year. Is it just me or as college years go through, parents put up less decorations, play fewer Christmas music, and show less spirit? They think we don’t care anymore. They think the excitement doesn’t really come, but, even if we may not express it as much, it does. I don’t know about you, but I don’t need all those presents that used to be under the tree, all-out decorations, or a big feast the night before. I just want my parents to offer their company and be happy with the family. So many companies have made Christmas a commercial holiday that we forget that it’s a time to be happy, give thanks, celebrate His birth, and just spend time with the people you love. Sometimes, our parents forget that, and we just have to remind them in order to have beautiful memories of Christmas from childhood to all through our teenage years.
There are times when you’re not that confident to make the first move. Times when you’re hesitating whether to hold her hand or not. Times when you don’t wanna start the conversation first because you’re not sure of those words you’re planning to say in your head. Times when you just can’t hug her from behind because maybe she’s not in the mood for surprises. Times when you just can’t cross the line because you’re afraid that you might spook her. Yes, you want her to be by your side, you want to talk to her and you want to hold her hand, but her body language seems warning you “Back off. Not now.” As much as you wanted to pull her closer to you, there are those little voices inside of you giving you negative thoughts that she might dislike it or maybe give her the wrong impression.
The situation is so awkward. You want to change the dead atmosphere into a romantic one but you’re not quite sure is she’ll go with it. You feel like you can’t hold yourself anymore and you wanna open up, but then again, your confidence automatically goes down to zero. You’re almost there, you’re already on the edge but you’re also thinking of the possible outcomes if you do it. You don’t wanna admit it, but you’re nervous. And it’s the doubts that are preventing you, pulling you back. And if you open your mouth, you know that your words will become trash and she’ll never understand the message you wanna tell her. You’re so close at her, it’s just your hesitations that are hindering you from crossing the distance. You thought that you’re ready but once you’re in the real situation already, your bravery suddenly vanished like it wasn’t even there.
But actually, sometimes, she’s doing it intentionally. Of course she doesn’t wanna appear intimidating but she also doesn’t wanna be assuming. She’ll pretend that she’s mad only to know if you’ll try to make it up to her. She’ll pretend that she’s not in the mood only to know if you can put up with her. She’ll pretend that she’s distant and aloof, only to know if you’ll try to cross the distance. She’s not doing those things because she likes it. She just wanna prove something. She just wanna know if you really love her, if you really care for her, that’s all. You’re hesitating because the way you see it, she’ll try to let go if you hold her hand surprisingly. But how will you know if you never try? How will you know if you let those little voices in your head win? How will you know if you keep on hesitating and if you never make a move?